Ways to annoy Jack Sparrow!
by Jade Snape-Holloway
Summary: Ever wonder how you can annoy Jack? Well, just read this fic and find out! Funny, I promise!
1. Chapter 1

WAYS TO ANNOY JACK SPARROW!

SUMMERY: Hi readers! Have you ever wondered what would make our favorite gay pirate mad? Well, no longer must you wonder! Read this fic and then try them out on him, assumeing you can find him!

1: Tell him to stop useing you'r massacara.

2: Tell him that in front of his crew.

3: Slap him in the face every five minutes, and insist it's from that women who always smacks him.

4:Sneak up behind him and scream "IT'S THE FLYING DUCHMEN!"

5: Teach him how to play 'slap Jack,' if ya know what I mean...

6: Plant a flower in his jar of dirt and tell him it represents you guy's relationship and if it dies, your relationship will, too.

7: Use the dirt for your cat's litter box.

8: Read him Jack/ Will fan fics.

9: Set him up on a blind date.

10: ...With Will.

11: Ask him stupid questions.

12: If he doesn't answer, say "whatsamatter? Davey Jones Got your soul?"

13: Poke him in the arm repeatedly saying "Get it?" with each poke.

14: Tell him how you don't know how he can be so afaid of that dear old man, Davey Jones.

15: Fill his room with hampsters

16: When he confronts you about it, go into his room, look around, and say " I don't see any hampsters!"

17: Make sure there is NEVER any rum on the ship. EVER.

18: Reward any thing good he and the crew does with juice and cookies.

19: Kiddnap him and tell the crew the monkeys in charge.

20: Encourage him to "Come out of the closet."

END NOTES: Well, thats garenteed to get you shot or marooned on a small island! Oh well, it will be fun while it lasts! Seiriously, though, please review: D


	2. Chapter 2: Ways to annoy Davy Jones!

WAYS TO ANNOY DAVEY JONES!

SUMMERY: Well, now that you have annoyed Jack in to oblivion, you can try your luck at Annoying good old Davy!

1: Cut off his beard while he's sleeping.  
2: Turn it into sushi.  
3: Offer him some.  
4: Refer to his crew as "sea food."  
5: Follow him around, staring at him, with a knife and fork in your hands. 'Accidentally' call him 'lunch.'  
6: Scream "LAND HO!" every five minutes.  
7: Eat his crew. When he gets mad at you for it, say "I just couldn't help it. They just looked so yummy!"  
8: Make non stop jokes about how he's really just a fish with legs.  
9: Schedule him and Jack to appear on the Dr. Phil show.  
10: Buy him a stress ball.  
11: Talk nonstop about how he was "defeated by a jar of dirt."  
12: Call him Squidward.  
13: When ever he threatens you, write down what he says and say "Dr.Phil will want to know about this."  
14: Tell him Al Roker made a much better Davy Jones than he does ( Al dressed up as Davy for Halloween on the Today's show).

END NOTES: I know that was short, but oh well! Thank you all for reviewing! Now, please review this one!


	3. Chapter 3: Ways to annoy Will Turner!

WAYS TO ANNOY WILL TURNER!

SUMMERY! Have you had fun annoying all the other people? If so, this part is for you! Don't forget to use this list as a check list of things to do!

I'm so glad people like this fic so much! Enjoy this part!

1: Talk about what a cute couple Jack and Elizabeth make. Talk at great lenghs.

2: Talk about what a cute couple Jack and Will make. Talk at great lenghs.

3: Buy him a pink necklace that says ' diva' on it.

4: Lure him back to the island with candy and feed him to the canabels. Although, don't really do this one cuz he's so pretty.

5: Talk about what a bad husband he really is, because he really is!

6: Ask him "are you still upset about Elizabeth takeing your necklace-I mean madalion?"

7: Call him Willykins.

8: Read his diary.

9: Stare at him and say " wait a minute! You mean your not a woman?!"

10: Say 'Ya know, you look just like that girly elf in Lord of the Rings."

11: Make him watch Lord of the Rings and see if he notices Legalos.

12: If he threatens to kill you if you don't shut up, put your hand on his shoulder and say "oh, Willy, Willy, Willy..." And then just shake your head sadly never finishing that sentence.

13: Next time he trys to steal a ship with Jack, bust out laughing and say in between bursts of laughter " No, I'm sorry, please continue. Yes your... very... intimedateing! AAAAHAHAHAHA!"

14: Stare at him like this: 0 . o

15: When he yells at you about it, say "Your just so pretty!" And pinch his cheek.

16: Come in to his blacksmih shop, scream "GOOD GOD WILL! WHATS HAPPENED TO YOU?!" and run up screaming to the donkey that he keeps in the shop for some reson.

17: Try to make him sing for you.

18: If he bursts into tears, repeat number 14.

19: Tell him your leaveing, but never actuly leave.

20: Tell him your leaveing. Wait for him to get done celebrateing and thanking God before comeing back and telling him you'll be back in 5 minutes.

END NOTES: I like it! To the nice reviewer who asked me to annoy Tia Dalma, I've been thinking about it, but I just don't have any way to annoy her. Sorry. Next, I'll try Elizabeth, but I'm not makeing any promises.

To who ever asked me to annoy her, why the heck do you hate Elizabeth?!

Anyway, sorry it took so long for me to update, but I've been busy and kinda sick. Also, I'm thinking of starting a Harry Potter fic called 'Lost.' Yes it is a Harry Potter meets Lost fic ( I think those types of fics are called 'crossovers,' but you never know with fan fics!) Anyway, THANK YOU IF YOU REVIEWED AND PLEASE KEEP REVIEWING!!!!!!


	4. Chapter 4: Ways to annoy Elizabeth!

WAYS TO ANNOY ELIZABETH!

SUMMERY! Now that you've had fun annoying the others, try Lizzy and see if she kills you! How fun!

1: Call her things like Lizzy or Liza no matter how many times you've been corrected.  
2: Say "Lizzy, you know there's a problem in a relationship when the wife steals her husbands jewelry" referring to when she took the medallion. Yes I know they weren't married then, but saying it will annoy her anyway!  
3: Tell her she makes a good man.  
4: Every time you leave her alone in a room say very slowly "OK, Liz. I'm leaving now, try not to get kidnapped while I'm gone."  
5: Wake her up every night and try to trick her in to telling you if she's going to pick Jack or Will. Or just wake her up in the middle of the night for any dumb reason.  
6: Very loudly, start singing "TORN BETWEEN TWO LOVERS, FEELIN' LIKE A FOOL..."  
7: Suggest marriage counseling.  
8: ..Just for her, because "she's the problem in the relationship."  
9: Mock her choice in men. "Gay pirates? Uncaring blacksmiths? Stupid commodores? Seriously, you sure pick the winners!"  
10: Run up to her and scream "IT'S THE CHEESE! THE CHEESE IS STALKING US!"  
11: Introduce yourself to everyone as "Lizzy's best friend."  
12: At every impotent thing you two go to, dance the funky chicken.  
And now, for my favorite one ( which I DID NOT come up with, Nerds united told it to me, so thanks Nerds united!!)!  
13: Say "so what's your last name by now anyway? swann? turner? norrington? sparrow? depp?"

END NOTES: Here's something only I can annoy her with: Make her watch the chemistry movie I just had to watch for school! God, it was sooooo bad! Anyway, (( Sob)) It's all over! Oh well! I hope you guys like this chapter! I know it was short, but who cares? Thank you all for reviewing, I love getting reviews! And to Sayla Ragnarok, yes I know it says 'complete' on the summery, But that's cuz when I submitted it, I had only planed on doing Ways to Annoy Jack Sparrow. Since so many people reviewed, I just started adding chapters. Anyway, please keep reviewing! Thank you:D


End file.
